It's the beginning of August 2013, and we've been trying to have a baby for a little over two years. At first, we were filled with excitement and inspiration. We knew that most couples have to try for a while before successfully getting pregnant, so we knew it could take a while. We just had no idea that a while would mean two long, emotional, and stressful years.
We did everything we were supposed to such as:
- consistent exercise
- eating healthy (most of the time)
- taking mommy and daddy prenatal vitamins
- limiting caffeine and alcohol
- getting plenty of sleep
- ovulation predictor kits/tests
- bought 2 fertility monitors (because Elissa left one in Florida on spring break...oops)
- tracked cycles and days....BLAH...BLAH...BLAH
Well, after about 11 failed cycles, it was time to see the doctor, who assured me (Elissa) that I was just being impatient. (That reminds me... I need to add that to the Top 10 list. I wanted to punch her in the face too.) She wouldn't refer us yet to a specialist because it hadn't been a year. While I understand that this is common, I know my body. I just knew that something had to be wrong because we did everything we were supposed to for so long. It was such a frustrating time for us. She did agree to start some hormone testing and paternal testing. That was at least a beginning, which was a renewed sense of hope.
So, about four more cycles went by, along with another wave of roller coaster emotions, and we were still nowhere. My doctor agreed to do some more invasive testing on me to get a better picture of the old reproductive system. All systems go from there, so we were finally referred to our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE), Dr. Binor, who has the most amazing team/staff in the entire world. We are forever grateful for all of their care, concern, and kindness.
This is where I started to feel like a science project and a human pin cushion for the next 8 months. In October of 2012 came the first official meeting with Dr. Binor and his staff. To say that we were impressed is a huge understatement. The man is a genius- not only because of his vast medical knowledge but even more so for his calm, caring, and humorous demeanor that made us instantly know we were in the right place. At this meeting, initial testing was done, and we got a few more answers. After everything, we were given the most ironic instructions- "Elissa has to start birth control pills." I know. Totally confusing, right? Well, not after finding out what we did. Because of some hormonal issues, cysts were developing and not going away in places where they shouldn't be and in places that cause fertility problems. The hormones in birth control pills regulate everything and will almost always cause the cysts to shrink and disappear on their own. So, yes, going on "the pill" was our first attempt at getting this thing figured out.
After two months of that, everything was clear, and it was time to........... do nothing other than what we had been doing for the last 16 months. Again, this sounds crazy, but it had to be done to get some baseline data. Once that information was gathered, we had more answers. For the first time in several months, we actually felt a twinge of hope.
The treatments began, and when I say treatments I mean a combination of different prescription and OTC medications, self-injectibles, and more invasive "in-office" procedures. First came a single medication, which didn't work. Then came a combination of medications and a hormone injection. Again, a BUST! Then, came the tri-fecta- medication, and two different injections. Drum roll...... BIG FAT NEGATIVE!
It was time to get serious. Without going into detail, we did some more personal and invasive "take the day off work" procedures coupled with medications and injectibles. Each time, those were also negative. So, the roller coaster of emotions was in full force. The hormones made it worse, which is something I realized after being off them. (I want to publicly apologize to Tony. Sorry, Babe!)
Because of the large quantities of medications I was on, my ovaries were in extreme overdrive and were very enlarged. So, we had to take a break from all medication and treatment for an entire cycle. At first, tears were streaming like Niagara Falls, but we realized a few days later that it really couldn't have been timed better. It was close to the end of the school year when things get really crazy, and it was taking a toll on my body- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Being off of everything made me feel good again. That teeny, tiny thing called hope was just starting to inch its way back into our hearts....only to be crushed again.
After the break cycle, we went back to the doctor and found out that things weren't quite ready so we had to take a break for another cycle. At this point, we were mentally and emotionally done. Tired of everything- getting nowhere while all treatments were working exactly as they should have and responding well to all medications. We had a vacation coming up and were ready to just let lose and take advantage of not having to worry about the responsibilities of being a parent or working.
Throughout our break cycles, we still tried. Each cycle was a chance- no matter how big or small. We still thought it was worth a shot.
Immediately after returning form our East Coast Road Trip, we went back to Dr. Binor. Before moving onto more treatments, he wanted to do a surgery on me to check for some things that normal x-rays and ultrasounds cannot detect. Because this surgery is time-sensitive, we had to wait to schedule it until our next cycle started. So, we were playing the waiting game again. Never have I ever been to excitedly anticipating starting my cycle. When it didn't come, we were afraid that something was wrong. We just want to get the surgery out of the way.
We decided to do a home pregnancy test on Friday, July 5 because we knew that the doctor's office would ask us if we tested when I would call to tell them that I was supposed to schedule my surgery but hadn't started my cycle yet. So, having no expectation of a positive result, Tony went to get the Red Solo Cup, and I grabbed the test. It took about 6.5 seconds to see both blue lines!!!! What?!?!?! I immediately ran to Tony to show him the test stick. He did a double-take and reread the instruction manual. (Yes, I did say that a human MALE read the instruction manual.) That moment is one that we will never forget and one that will remain between Tony and me, but it was a huge range of mixed emotions.
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| July 5, 2013 |
Monday morning, I went to Dr. Binor's office to get the official tests out of the way. At noon that day, it was confirmed....I WAS PREGNANT! Who could believe that? No meds, no procedures, no scientific calculation! Even better was no more injections, no more doctor appointments twice a week before work, no crazy expensive medications or procedures to pay for, and no surgery.
That pretty much brings us to the present. We're still pretty cautiously optimistic. It just doesn't seem real or possible with all of the struggles we've had along this journey. However, looking down and seeing a little bump starting to grow is confirmation. We're due early March, 2014.
UPDATE: Baby Kruse #2 is due in October, 2016!!!!
Thanks so much for reading our story!
Congratulations again! This is such great news - Baby Kruse is so lucky to have such amazing parents. :)
ReplyDelete-Erica